I took everyone's phones on Thanksgiving — here's what happened

Good morning,

Ever hosted a Thanksgiving where everyone gave up their phones? Neither had I — until this year. Let’s just say it was an experiment in nostalgia, with a side of mashed potatoes. Some guests handed over their phones willingly, others… not so much.

In today's issue:

🦃 Hosting a phone-free Thanksgiving
📅 How to do your own no phone event
🧮 Our NEW screen time calculator

Let’s jump right into it.

— Kian Malekanian, co-founder

No phones, just turkey: A Thanksgiving experiment

Every year, my closest friends and I throw a “Friendsgiving” feast. 

My friend, let’s call her Gemma, always handles the turkey (because no one else can be trusted with a bird that size), and the rest of us bring the side dishes, desserts, and plenty of wine. 

But the biggest challenge? Hosting. We live in Toronto, and for our American readers, yes, we celebrate Thanksgiving in early October — because why wait for good food? With 20 people and only apartments, it’s no small feat. But, hey, we’ve perfected the art of cramming too many people into small spaces. 

This year, I volunteered to host, but little did they know, I had a sneaky plan. A few days before Friendsgiving, I pitched a “phone-free” experiment. Out of the 20 guests, fifteen were game. Five? Not so much. But hey, that’s what control groups are for, right?

The setup: It’s 7:45 p.m., and I’m wrestling a 28-pound turkey out of the oven, simultaneously dodging texts about directions, entry codes, and “where do I park?” chaos. I slap the bird on the counter just as everyone starts to roll in, and I remind them, “So you’re part of the experiment, right?” 

Most people handed over their phones eagerly, though a few were hesitant. “Can I keep it for pictures?” “What if I want to Irish exit?” But no excuses. I collected all 15 phones, threw mine in the box too, and tucked it away in a cupboard where it could vibrate in lonely darkness.

The “methodology”: The experiment kicked off at 8:00 p.m. sharp. I had 15 people going phone-free, and five in the “control group,” who kept theirs but agreed to track their usage. At midnight, before everyone left, they filled out a survey about how connected they felt, how much they enjoyed the evening, and (for the control group) how much time they thought they spent on their phones.

The meal: We carved the turkey, served up buffet-style, and spread out across four long tables. This year’s game-changer? Oval plates. Turns out, they had the perfect surface area for turkey, sides, and even that third helping of mashed potatoes. 

One thing I noticed early on — there was no clique-ing up. In previous years, the size of the group meant people would splinter off, some staying in their usual tight circles. But this time, it felt like everyone was talking with everyone, swapping stories and jokes across tables. Was it the oval plates? The wine? Or maybe the absence of glowing screens?

After the meal, it was trivia time - a tradition for us. Normally, we’d use Kahoot, an app where everyone answers on their phones, but this year, we did it “bar-style,” with teams jotting down answers on paper. From my perspective as the trivia host, there was a lot more chatter than usual. Post-turkey trivia is typically quiet, with everyone in a food coma, but without phones, the energy was buzzing — I even had to raise my voice to get the questions heard!

The results: By the end of the night, everyone filled out their surveys, reclaimed their phones, and said their goodbyes. The results? Fascinating.

• The experiment group (those without phones) scored higher on the quality of conversation (16% higher) and felt more connected to others (7% higher). 

• But the real kicker? Everyone underestimated their phone usage at social gatherings.

The experiment group guessed they’d normally check their phones about nine times during a social event. The control group, who still had their phones, estimated they checked theirs seven times during the 4 hours we feasted together. 

The actual number? An average of 25 phone checks per person. And while the control group thought they spent close to four minutes on their phones, the screen time apps revealed they spent an average of 24 minutes.

The takeaway: Now, was this a super scientific, peer-reviewed experiment? Absolutely not. It was more like a casual Friendsgiving social experiment with turkey and wine as the main variables. But the results were still telling.

We’re more tied to our devices than we realize. Even when we feel “present,” the phone’s pull is always there. Without it, conversations flowed more easily. No distracted glancing down at screens, no interruptions from notifications.

One friend mentioned how "time just seemed to pass more naturally." Without checking her phone to see how much time was left, it felt less like a task and more like an experience. It was just the moment and the people at hand.

It got me thinking — how much presence we trade for a few glances at a screen. Most of us were excited to try another phone-free event, and even the others were at least open to it by the end of the night.

What about you? Could your next gathering be phone-free? Would it feel different, or would you miss the comfort of having your phone nearby? Maybe it's worth finding out.

Something to think about. If you're curious, give it a try — oval plates optional.

TIPS & TRICKS

Tips for hosting your own phone-free event

Now that I’ve hosted exactly one phone-free gathering, I naturally feel like an expert (kidding—sort of). But seriously, there are a few key things I found that can make or break the experience, depending on your group. Here’s what worked for me:

1. Have a Plan—and Communicate It

Surprising people with a phone-free event doesn’t always go over well. Make sure you explain the idea in advance and get people on board. Ambushing guests or making them feel coerced will only create resistance.

2. Make It Voluntary, But Get a Majority

You don’t need 100% participation, but having most people agree to it is key. A few holdouts are fine, but they shouldn’t dominate the group. If the majority are in, the vibe will naturally shift toward less phone dependency.

3. Give People Something to Do

Keeping your guests engaged is key. In my case, food and trivia kept the energy up and helped people forget about their phones. Providing an activity - whether it’s a board game, a hands-on craft activity, or something interactive like a tasting session (wine, cheese, or even homemade cocktails) - gives people something to focus on and makes the phone-free experience feel more natural.

(Although, side note: I do want to test this in a smaller setting with no plan—just a few friends, no phones, and seeing where the night takes us. If ever you try this out, please let me know how it goes, I’m so curious)

4. Bring a Camera

The number one reason people didn’t want to give up their phones? Taking photos. Luckily, one friend brought an actual camera, which eased everyone’s worries and left us with some great shots. If you want to keep your event phone-free but still capture memories, a camera is a must.

RESOURCE & RECOMMENDATIONS

• Curious what happens when people pay to have their phones taken away? Offline Club has built a massive community where hundreds of people gather in cool places (like  400-year-old churches) with no phones, just reading, talking, and connecting.

• Okay, I know I’ve hyped the oval plates more than any human should, so it’s only fair I show you what all the fuss is about. Behold, the mighty oval plates! (I promise this isn’t sponsored — I just have strong feelings about good plate design.)

• Where did you meet your significant other? This graph shows just how wildly the ways we meet our partners have shifted since the 1950s.

• Do you ever get frustrated by a sea of phone screens at a concert? You’re not alone. These artists have had enough and are banning phones from their shows.

• Gen Z attitudes toward their phones are changing. A new poll shows that while 9 in 10 adult Gen Zers (94%) associate social media with the word "entertaining," nearly half wish these 3 specific apps never existed...

COMMUNITY CORNER

SUGGESTED STORIES