Why escaping boredom with our phones is only making things worse

The cost of killing boredom

I came across a conversation online where a Reddit user, aiming to cut down their phone use, asked: ‘What did we do for low-quality leisure before phones?’ 

They weren’t talking about hobbies or creative pursuits, but the idle moments — 20 minutes after work or time between tasks, when nothing pressing needs doing.

The thread was filled with nostalgic answers — people-watching, staring at the ceiling, reading a magazine. But one response stood out: “The comments are missing an essential point,” said one user, “we didn’t need to always be doing something. We could just “be” without anxiously reaching for distraction.”

It wasn’t just about what we used to do — it was about why these moments felt easier to bear back before phones. What changed? The thread missed the real issue: boredom. Or more specifically, our inability to deal with it.

The Pain We Can’t Sit With

Boredom is uncomfortable. It’s a peculiar kind of discomfort because it triggers such a strong, almost reflexive urge to eliminate it.

Consider this: during the COVID-19 lockdowns in Italy, researchers asked people to rank the most negative aspects of quarantine. Boredom came in second, ranking even above a lack of fresh air. We’d rather suffocate than sit with ourselves.

Dr. Anna Lembke, a leading expert in addiction science, offers one explanation. She argues that we now live in a world of hyperstimulation — a dopamine-saturated environment of endless content and instant gratification. In this context, boredom isn’t just unpleasant — it’s alien.

In a dopamine-drenched world, boredom feels like withdrawal — our brains crash, desperate for the next hit. So, we reach for our phones. Not because they bring joy, but because they dull the discomfort. Whether it’s boredom, loneliness, or some other emotional ache, the screen offers an easy escape — the perfect anesthetic for pain we no longer know how to face.

The Philosophers’ Void

Boredom isn’t a modern phenomenon. It’s a condition philosophers have wrestled with for centuries. Kierkegaard, often called the father of existentialism, saw boredom as something far deeper than idle discomfort.

For him, boredom wasn’t about having nothing to do — it was about having no reason to do anything at all. It wasn’t the absence of stimulation but the absence of meaning. Boredom forces us to confront the void and ask: What should I do? Why am I here?

Modern philosophers, building on this tradition, see boredom as a reflection of a broader crisis of meaning in society. 

Arthur C. Brooks, a Harvard professor, connects this decline in meaning to the rise of smartphones. He points to research showing that fewer people even search for meaning in their lives: the percentage of college freshmen who viewed “developing a meaningful philosophy of life” as essential dropped from 86% in the 1960s to just over 50% today.

Moments of boredom or melancholy that once pushed us to wrestle with life’s big questions are now wiped away by a quick scroll. Brooks highlights how heavy internet use disrupts the brain’s default mode network—the regions responsible for memory, meaning-making, and future planning.

A Sign From Boredom Studies

Boredom is so universal that it has inspired its own field of study. Researchers James Danckert and John Eastwood are perhaps the most well-known in this field. In their book, they describe boredom as an uncomfortable feeling of wanting — but being unable — to engage in something meaningful. 

Like hunger signals physical malnourishment, boredom signals mental undernourishment.

At its core, boredom is less about meaninglessness, as philosophers argue, and more about a lack of engagement — a desire to act when nothing feels enough. Danckert and Eastwood suggest boredom pushes us not just to fill time, but to express ourselves as active participants in life.

This is where many of us stumble. Instead of addressing boredom as a signal, we react with escape strategies — distractions that solve the discomfort in the short term but undermine our sense of control in the long run. Smartphones are the perfectly engineered fix to the lack of mental stimulation that boredom brings. 

But they simply temporarily mask boredom without fulfilling its deeper need for agency and purpose. As Danckert and Eastwood put it: "The more we allow things external to us to solve the problem of boredom, the more our agency atrophies. The more our agency atrophies, the more vulnerable we become to boredom.”

Outsourcing Boredom

So, boredom isn’t new. But has our relationship with it changed? Are we now less able to deal with it, less willing to take it seriously?

Anna Lembke describes our response to boredom as a kind of withdrawal—a smoker jonesing for their next cigarette. Light up the phone, and let the discomfort disappear. 

Philosophers, from Kierkegaard to modern thinkers, see boredom as a symptom of meaninglessness, a confrontation with the void. 

And researchers like Danckert and Eastwood frame it as a call to action for engagement and agency — one we increasingly misinterpret and mask with distractions.

Despite their differences, these perspectives converge on one common truth: we’ve become less equipped to deal with boredom because we’ve outsourced its resolution to external tools, particularly smartphones and screens.

Every time we reach for our phones, we ignore boredom’s message — whether it’s pointing to a dopamine dependence, a lack of meaning, or a failure to find meaningful agency in our lives.

​​This creates a vicious cycle: boredom drives us to distraction, but distraction leaves us unfulfilled. The boredom inevitably returns, louder and harder to ignore. The more we rely on these distractions, the less capable we become of listening to boredom as the signal it truly is—a call to reengage with life, to find purpose, to act with intention.

But perhaps that’s too uncomfortable a thought for now. So instead, a TikTok or reel will have to do.

SPONSORED BY BETTERSLEEP

The #1 App That Helps You Fall Asleep In Minutes

BetterSleep, the 5 star app that focuses on helping users sleep better and feel better daily.

Build and layer a unique personalized mix from over 300 unique sounds such as: green noise, ocean waves, heavy rain, arctic storms or even background bustle in a city cafe! Use sound science to send yourself to sleep and improve your restlessness.

By building your perfect dreamy soundscape and watch your sleep and your mornings improve in just 7 days!

Try it tonight!

TIPS & TRICKS

Don't resist boredom - face it

The funny thing about boredom is that it leads you — if you let it. It can bring you peace, self-awareness, and direction. But most of us respond to boredom in one of two ways: escape (scrolling, bingeing, or numbing ourselves with distractions) or apathy (sinking into inaction and frustration). Both are dead ends.

Instead, try giving boredom space to work. 

Psychologists Danckert and Eastwood describe boredom as your mind’s way of signaling a desire for agency. It’s not just about filling time — it’s about wanting to engage meaningfully, to make a choice that feels yours. If you sit with boredom, what you personally want to want will start to emerge.

Here’s a simple exercise: designate a spot and a time — say, 20 minutes. No phone, no TV, no distractions. Stay calm. Sit with the discomfort. Let the restlessness pass. Ask yourself: What would genuinely satisfy me right now? It doesn’t need to be monumental. Sometimes the answer is something as small as baking a cake or calling an old friend.

The key is to stay calm, avoid reactive decisions, and let boredom guide you toward something real.

RESOURCE & RECOMMENDATIONS

• Apparently boredom actually comes in 5 flavours. From “apathetic boredom” to “searching boredom,” here’s a quick guide to the five distinct ways we get bored.

• A Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist, Victor Frankl knew a thing or two about meaning. This short video breaks down his three powerful strategies for finding purpose — even in the toughest times.

• If your phone feels like a magnet every time boredom strikes, this list of the best digital detox apps could be your secret weapon.

• Parents are always trying to keep kids entertained. But maybe what they actually need is a little more boredom.

• Psychologist James Danckert thinks boredom is trying to tell us something important. In his TED Talk, he breaks down what exactly boredom is trying to teach us.